I'm getting older.

I am now 41 years old and will be turning 42 in June.  Lately, I've been thinking about time and how it moves so quickly the older I get.  I am lucky to be alive.  Yet, I have challenges like anxiety that I am dealing with/have always dealt with. 

When I am in my anxiety, I feel like I am not doing enough and there is this frantic-ness that takes over me.  I'm not making enough  candles, enough money, enough memories.  I'm never enough when I'm in my anxiety. 

Lately, I've tried to tell myself that this isn't a reflection of my worth but instead, my brain malfunctioning.  Recently, I started some anti-anxiety medication for the first time in my life.  It helped during the day to ease my worry and nervousness but unfortunately, I couldn't sleep at night.  So I need to try something else.  I am proud of myself for trying to new things at 41 years old.  For the longest time I was scared of medications.  Now, I am open to them. 

This blog is not always about candles but everything I write about here relates to the candles I make because if my mind isn't feeling good, I won't be creative or productive. 

So, if you need a sign, looking for a sign, this is it.  Go schedule that appointment to talk to your doctor or your therapist and get that prescription.  Let's end the stigma.  Let's be honest and kind to ourself.  

Love,
Natalie

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