"All you have is what you are, and what you give."-Ursula K. Le Guin
I've had some trouble getting up in the morning these past few weeks. I don't exactly know what it is, but part of it has to do with depression/melancholy. I feel bad that I'm not doing more. This is the story in my head that I've been trying to "befriend" for years now. When I am triggered, sad, angry, etc., this voice grows loud. It gets annoying and this story is old news.
I haven't been making as many candles. I've been slow to action because I haven't had much energy. It feels yuck when I want to do more and I can't. I wake up and my head is pounding. Pressure in my sinuses every morning. I am complaining. I am tired of complaining.
I am trying to take care of my son the best I can. But I beat myself up in that category too. He watches way too much YouTube and doesn't do enough Math and Reading from his workbooks. But he did learn to tie his shoes today. That is something to celebrate and so I bought him donuts from Buckeye Donuts.
Today I made a batch of candles. They are cooling now. Hopefully, I will place the crystals on them tomorrow after they fully cool and then heat gun them. Once the design is complete, I'll photograph them and put them up on the website.
Ursula K. Le Guin was an author and her quote deeply touched me when I found it:
"All you have is what you are, and what you give."
To me, this quote says that I can only do what I can do in this moment. If I don't have the energy to do more, I shouldn't beat myself up on top of this struggle. This quote also tells me to stop focusing on myself so much and focus on others- like my son, husband, friends, family and community.
Right now, the world is in flux. It is a challenging time for everyone. We are all doing our best. If you are struggling right now, keep going.
Love and lots of peace,
Pink Moon Candles